The Light of Friendship
Remembering her long-time friend, Janet
After 34 years of friendship, Kathi Boyle O’Brien has fond memories and a welcoming little lamp, still radiating the light of friendship. She shares the story in this From Our Readers essay.
On the counter separating the kitchen from the dining and living area sits my little lamp, measuring 16 inches high with a silk shade spreading nine inches wide. The lamp base is made of glass with swirling circles and brass details on the top and bottom. I am reminded each time I turn its knob about the person whose lamp it was and the light she brought to my life.
For five years, Janet, my friend, fought to survive her stage 4 colon and liver cancer that first appeared quite out of nowhere. Then, she and her husband chose to move closer to two daughters and their families as she continued battling these cancers for two more years. Although Janet made hundreds of decisions as to the distribution of their home belongings, it was her husband that organized the move. He called me to come over to the house and select something I would like to have. Many items were grouped together for the movers. One such collection included 30 or more lamps, of all shapes and sizes, gathered from the four bedrooms, office, living room, and lower level rec room.
I saw the lamp and immediately my mind’s eye brought me right to where the lamp had stood, in the foyer in the colonial style home’s entrance. The little lamp was always lit and most times had a vase with yellow roses by its side. It welcomed each guest into the warm, loving home that it was, with Janet as the most gracious of hostesses. The table and lamp were surrounded by bright yellow painted glossy walls that covered the foyer and circled the curved staircase backdrop.
Janet paid attention to details, whether it was the little lamp stand or preparing a gift with matching papers, handwritten notes, or ribbon swirls. The gift itself reflected her own warmth and caring and was often made by her own hands, whether baked goods or items she sewed on her well-worn machine. When my daughter just couldn’t find a duvet she wanted to take to college, Janet told her to just pick out fabric and she would sew it up.
My friend Janet and I first met sitting on well-worn bench stands, half watching our 8-year-old sons play baseball. As women can so easily do, we struck up a conversation and quickly moved from baseball to lots of other topics. We talked and talked for the next 34 years. Janet was a huge reservoir of knowledge with a specialty in health care being a Registered Nurse. I asked her question after question and she would calmly answer all of them, no matter the issue. Once, when I had to have a surprising biopsy, I asked Janet all those questions I had held inside. Her trust was unquestioned and complete.
But most of all, we had fun. Her sharp sense of humor, quick wit, and ability to turn a phrase to make us laugh, made all our get-togethers chances to fully enjoy the present. Janet brought light and laughter and love to so many people, and I know I was lucky to be in that circle. I miss her still. I will keep her light on.
Kathi Boyle O’Brien enjoyed a long career as a financial advisor at a major brokerage house after working as a bank officer. She built her practice through relationships and teaching multiple financial topics to educate potential clients, many aimed at women. During Covid and retirement, Kathi discovered writing as a wonderful way to reflect and tell her stories, in part to her three children and eight grandchildren. She encourages anyone she meets to share their stories through writing.
Read more like Kathi Boyle O’Brien’s memories of her friend’s light of friendship, and other contributions from Boomer readers, including nostalgia, essays, and short fiction, in
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