Sunsetting the Multigenerational Family Trips
The grandparents still want to join, but travel has become challenging
Her 80-something parents have become difficult to travel with. She’s adjusted trips and taken trips without them and is considering phasing out the multigenerational family trips, but they still want to join every journey. Advice columnist Eric Thomas weighs in.
Dear Eric:
My husband and I have had many wonderful trips with my parents over the years. We have always invited them on our family vacations with the kids and had a, generally, wonderful time.
They are both in their 80s. I’m grateful that they are still a big part of our lives and are both able to travel, but we have noticed significant changes in their behavior and mobility on the last couple of trips. Hyper-focusing on money, even though they are well-to-do and insisting they are fine to walk despite suggestions of taking Uber/Lyft or public transportation, making things uncomfortable for everyone.
I can only imagine how frustrating it would be to not be able to do the things you’re used to doing, so I thought perhaps the solution was to plan “parent friendly” trips with them that take into account their slower pace. (They’re not aware these trips are any different than our usual trips.)
But they still make comments about joining us on everything. My husband and I love to walk cities and routinely walk 10 to 12 miles a day on trips, so this is definitely not an option for my parents anymore.
I am ready to have trips with just my husband and our adult kids, but I dread the uncomfortable conversations that are to come. Any suggestions on how to make this easier for them and me?
– Trying Hard to be a Good Daughter
Dear Daughter:
The impulse to create “parent friendly” trips is a kind one. And though it makes sense that you might not want to let them know you’re trying to plan around their changes in ability, talking openly about it and inviting them to be part of the planning itself might be a helpful next step.
As you plan your next trip, you may want to talk with your parents about your desire to do a day or two of 10- to 12-mile walks and suggest that they, and perhaps other members of the family, come up with a plan for those days that makes them happy and meets them where they are. This could mean they’d join you for part of the day and then linger at a museum or a park. Or it could mean they do their own thing and then meet up with you for dinner.
The hope is to empower everyone to have the vacation they want. It’s totally fine for part of the group to split off for part of the time. And it makes it easier to do so if everyone is on the same page. This way, you’re not having a conversation about limitations; you’re having a conversation about what’s possible and dreaming together.
R. Eric Thomas (he/him) is a national bestselling author, playwright, and screenwriter. His accomplishments include “Eric Reads the News,” a daily humor column covering pop culture and politics, serving as the interim Prudie for the advice column “Dear Prudence,” and “Congratulations, The Best Is Over.”
Send questions to eric@askingeric.com or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.
©2026 Tribune Content Agency, LLC.
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