Teacher’s Trauma Reaches a Tipping Point
For 19 years, her students’ horrific stories have taken a toll
After 19 years in the classroom and seeing students’ grief, abusive homes, and horrific stories, a teacher’s trauma has reached a tipping point. Advice columnist Eric Thomas weighs in.
Dear Eric:
I have been a teacher for 19 years. I have seen a lot. As a mandated reporter I have had to make the call to the authorities with some frequency. I have also had other children who had prior abuse and I was always a shoulder to cry on when needed. I have felt intense sadness at times, as when a student’s sibling was murdered. I tried my best to comfort him.
I never let these instances interfere with my attitude on life or my job. I was always able to move on and not let it get me down. I always seemed to be able to see the silver lining and think this is a hard thing they are going through, but these kids are going to get through and at the end of this trial be stronger and able to help others through.
However, this last year broke me. I don’t know any other way to describe it. Those rose-colored glasses I managed to keep on through 19 years of hearing horror stories and teaching some very traumatized kids just shattered to pieces.
This past year I had two second-grade students that changed everything. Their stories are horrific and heartbreaking, but I am not sure why these two boys affected me more than all the others I’ve taught. I am angry and sad. I keep finding myself not wanting to ever go back to teaching. I feel like I am still mourning a loss that was never my loss.
When I try to talk to my husband, he keeps getting irritated telling me to get over it and to let it go. I realize I am being irrational, but I can’t seem to shake this off.
– No More Rose-Colored Glasses
Dear Glasses:
First, you’re not being irrational, and your husband’s irritation is inappropriate. You’re dealing with incredibly traumatic things and, as a teacher and mandatory reporter, you’re often having to receive distressing information while immediately pivoting to care and action.
It doesn’t sound like your school system is providing you with the time and resources to adequately process what you’re hearing. You may have been able to compartmentalize for years, but the feelings you’re dealing with have to go somewhere.
It’s said that a good therapist always has a therapist, and although you’re not a therapist, as a teacher you have been called on to step into a similar role at times. There is a cost to that. Please consider talking to a trained professional about your experience and the feelings it has brought up. You may also consider taking a leave of absence from teaching, to give yourself time to heal and regroup.
There is nothing wrong with taking a step back to care for yourself. One can’t pour from an empty cup. You do incredibly important, vital work. You owe it to yourself to take time to recover.
R. Eric Thomas (he/him) is a national bestselling author, playwright, and screenwriter. His accomplishments include “Eric Reads the News,” a daily humor column covering pop culture and politics, serving as the interim Prudie for the advice column “Dear Prudence,” and “Congratulations, The Best Is Over.”
Send questions to eric@askingeric.com or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.
©2026 Tribune Content Agency, LLC.
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