In My Shoes
People can be quick to criticize others and themselves, from childhood to adult years. “If you walked in my shoes,” writes Joan Benowitz, your view would be different. Even Benowitz herself grew into her shoes. Her “From Our Readers” essay explains.
If you walked in my shoes you would’ve seen the world from the outside looking in. I was the child who stood on the sidelines watching kids jump rope but was afraid to ask if I could join in. I tried my best in dance class but knew there were others far better than I.
Thus, the insecurity began. I tried to be there for my teammates in volleyball but always managed to be one of the last ones selected by my team. Those were the moments I felt unseen.
Standing in my shoes you’d be the child who hesitated to respond to a teacher’s question thinking her answer was way off the mark but in reality was dead on. In fact teachers called on me to demonstrate breaking down a sentence into its grammatical parts orto explain capillary action of water rising up a plant stem. It was at those times that I felt most seen and I began to develop confidence.
From my perspective, you’d see a child who didn’t mind spending time alone as she imagined herself atop a horse in the English countryside while reading “Black Beauty,” and would let her imagination go wild as she delved into the other fiction books sheloved so dearly.
In my Hush Puppy shoes, you’d see that I felt comfortable in a small group of friends. There I could be myself and was expressive, warm and friendly. I had a great sense of humor, loved to laugh, and make others laugh as well. I felt uncomfortable in crowded spaces, with large groups, or areas of conflict, and shied away from them immediately. When exposed to intense negative emotions I became overwhelmed and needed solitude to recharge.
Putting yourself in my place you would see that demonstrating empathy came naturally to me. I deeply felt and absorbed the emotions of others, always offering comfort without needing to be asked. I often picked up cues from the body language of friends and was there for them instinctively.
In my pumps you would notice that adults appreciated my perspective and often asked my opinion because they knew they’d get a clear and well thought out response from me that they would value.
You would see that as I matured I began to understand who I was and focused on developing my strengths. I understood that my weaknesses would not hold me back unless I let them. As I grew I realized I would do best going into a field where I would be able to help others. I began my journey and felt great satisfaction working with children who had disabilities.
Having grown into my shoes I stood proudly in front of my students, knowing that I was exactly where I was meant to be.
Read more like Joan Benowitz’s essay, “In My Shoes,” and other contributions from Boomer readers in our
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