Struggling with a Job Downgrade

After two years unemployed, a 58-year-old took a job downgrade. Now he feels embarrassed, useless, and old. Advice columnist Eric Thomas weighs in.

Dear Eric:

I started a new job this year at age 58. I am working at a position which is much lower in wages and responsibilities than the last job I had. I know that my current colleagues will question my advanced age once they find out how old I am. All the others are around 20 to 38 years old. Only one boss is 50.

How do I get away from feeling useless and too old to contribute to this working environment? My wage is $10 less than my old one as I had a difficult time securing employment and was off for two years, due to Covid and the economy. Please give me advice to navigate this.

– Hard Work

Dear Work:

Your worth isn’t determined by your wage, it isn’t determined by your job, or your age or even how good you are at your job. I know these truths can be hard to remember sometimes and they don’t always seem true in competitive workplaces or tough job markets. But you have value beyond what your paycheck says, all of us do.

There are a few strategies for navigating the situation you’re in. Your mileage may vary with them, but hopefully one or two stick.

First, remind yourself that what your coworkers think about you is none of your business. People rarely think about us as much as we think they do, so they may not be asking questions about your age. Or they may see it differently. They could be intimidated by it. But, good, bad, or indifferent, what they think is none of your concern.

Additionally, beyond your hiring manager, it’s unlikely that anyone knows your employment history, your wage history or the struggle you’ve had to find a new position. So, you have an opportunity to share what you want and to keep everything else to yourself. This isn’t an act motivated by shame. Rather, you are the author of your own narrative. Often, when we have struggles, we feel defined by them. But you get to pick what parts of your story – and the wisdom you’ve gained along the way – to share.

Lastly, know that you’re not alone. Many people have struggled to find meaningful work in the last few years; many people are struggling to find it now. Every time you start to feel down on yourself for what you’ve experienced and where you are, see if you can turn it around into gratitude and pride for making it through.

R. Eric Thomas (he/him) is a national bestselling author, playwright, and screenwriter. His accomplishments include “Eric Reads the News,” a daily humor column covering pop culture and politics, serving as the interim Prudie for the advice column “Dear Prudence,” and “Congratulations, The Best Is Over.” Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.

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Find more words of wisdom like a struggle with a job downgrade – from insensitive parents to a husband’s mid-life crisis, DNA surprises, and more – in the Boomer Advice for Life department.

For advice targeted to senior adults and their families – like caregiving, grandparenting, retirement communities, and more – browse Asking Eric on SeniorGuide.com.