Advice from Amy: Longtime Husband Wants Out

By Amy Dickinson | September 7th, 2021

He may have found an out from his collapsing marriage – through Facebook

Longtime husband met someone new

Dear Amy: I have been married to my wife for 27 years.

We have three adult children.

I have not gotten along with her in a long time.

She has no interest at all in sex. We sleep in the same bed but keep to our own sides.

I am very ill, and she is helping me through my illness.

I always had the conviction that you marry for life.

But – I recently met someone online who has changed my life.

She is 20 years my junior and has two small children.

She and I want to be together. I already know more about her than I do my wife of 27 years.

Her father and stepmother met on Facebook, and they have been happily married since then, so she believes our relationship will work.

Because my wife is helping me through my illness, I feel guilty leaving her.

I don’t know what to do. I haven’t been happy in so long, and I deserve to be happy.

Is it wrong for me to leave my wife after she has been helping me through my illness?

I don’t know what to do.

What do you think?

– Unsure

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Dear Unsure: It turns out that YOU didn’t marry for life, but it seems that you married someone who did.

I suggest that you pack your bags and medical supplies as soon as possible, in order to relieve your wife of the burden of continuing to fulfill her marriage vows to you.

If you truly believe that meeting on Facebook is the standard by which successful long-term relationships should be gauged, then surely you will enjoy whatever outcome you experience with this new relationship.

No doubt you will richly deserve whatever happiness is in store.

If your current wife has any sense, she will drive you to the airport and begin the process of her own later-life liberation.

I have a strong feeling that if this plays out according to the familiar script, you will come bouncing back home at some point, so understand as you leave that your wife might have moved on by then.

In the tradition of the great personal advice columnists, Chicago Tribune’s Amy Dickinson is a plainspoken straight shooter who relates to readers of all ages. She answers personal questions by addressing issues from both her head and her heart. A solid reporter, Dickinson researches her topics to provide readers with informed opinions and answers. Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068

© 2021 by Amy Dickinson

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