Advice from Amy: Thanksgiving Birthday

By Amy Dickinson | October 18th, 2021

“I want a celebration of my own!”


sad woman on her birthday (credit: Pressmaster Dreamstime.com) For article on When a birthday falls on a holiday

A reader feels miffed that their family always celebrate their late-November birthday on Thanksgiving. Advice columnist Amy Dickinson weighs in on what to do when a birthday falls on a holiday.


Dear Amy: My birthday falls on or near Thanksgiving every year.

For other family birthdays, my relatives insist on making the day special for the celebrant – they get to pick a family outing or the menu for the birthday party.

For mine, my “party” is a candle on my dessert at Thanksgiving dinner, even in years when there are a few days between my birthday and the holiday.

I have a milestone birthday coming up, and I’d like to do something special.

Unfortunately, this year my birthday falls on Thanksgiving Day.

What’s the best way to bow out of the family holiday party so I can do something for me?

There’s no point talking with my relatives about maybe doing something different this year – the holiday will always take priority.

– Family Afterthought

Dear Afterthought: I’m assuming that you are an adult, which makes things easier – because you have free will and (presumably) transportation.

If the exact day of your birthday is the day that you want to celebrate, then make your plan and simply tell your family: “I’m not going to be at Thanksgiving dinner this year because I’m [flying down to Rio…] to celebrate my birthday.”

However, it seems to me that you might be able to have things both ways this year: Enjoy your (perhaps tepid) birthday during the family feast, and then do something really special for yourself the day after.


Want to get even more life tips from Amy? Read more of her advice columns here!


In the tradition of the great personal advice columnists, Chicago Tribune’s Amy Dickinson is a plainspoken straight shooter who relates to readers of all ages. She answers personal questions by addressing issues from both her head and her heart. A solid reporter, Dickinson researches her topics to provide readers with informed opinions and answers. Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068

© 2021 by Amy Dickinson

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