Ask Amy: Facebook Posts Create Relationship Tension

By Amy Dickinson | March 15th, 2021

Your social media persona reflects your in-person persona, too...


Shocked woman in front of her laptop looking at Facebook posts

Dear Amy: My daughter-in-law “Wendy” uses Facebook to complain about her job, her boss, how much she feels cheated by being a working mother, and even about the shortcomings of her new husband (my son), who apparently failed to buy her a lavish enough Mother’s Day present.

These posts create a kind of online persona that makes her seem vicious, and she really isn’t. But the really embarrassing part is that she is Facebook “friends” with everyone in my family, and, believe me, her posts are a topic of not-too-flattering gossip.

I have mentioned to my son a few times when her posts have become offensive, and he is trying to deal with it offline.

– Concerned Mother-in-law


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Dear Concerned: When your daughter-in-law posts her complaints, selfishness or negativity on the public bulletin board that is Facebook, she runs the risk of ruining her personal and professional reputation. And that’s her business.

When her whining veers into family territory, that’s your business.

A gentle and respectful “heads-up” (to her) is in order; and then you should back off, adjust your settings (both metaphorically and on Facebook) and stop reading her posts.


In the tradition of the great personal advice columnists, Chicago Tribune’s Amy Dickinson is a plainspoken straight shooter who relates to readers of all ages. She answers personal questions by addressing issues from both her head and her heart. A solid reporter, Dickinson researches her topics to provide readers with informed opinions and answers. Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068

© 2021 by Amy Dickinson

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