Jest a Moment: Beware of Dating Health Professionals

By Nick Thomas | August 6th, 2021

Humorous cautions for single seniors


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Writer and Auburn University professor Nick Thomas offers a warning to silver singles with 20 funny reasons not to date health professionals. 


Single seniors embarking on the dating scene may be tempted to start a relationship with a health professional. But beware!

Here are some reasons why that may not be a good idea:

Beware of dating radiologists, they can see right through you.

Beware of dating podiatrists, you may get off on the wrong foot.

Beware of dating cardiologists, they may discover your heart isn’t in the right place.

Beware of dating chiropractors, they have too many back issues.

Beware of dating allergists, their affection might be seasonal.

Beware of dating pediatricians, they have little patience.

Beware of dating acupuncturists without a license to practice. They’re pointless.

Beware of dating retired gynecologists, they just can’t deliver anymore.

Beware of dating plastic surgeons, they’ll always be looking for new faces.

Beware of dating geriatricians, it gets old after a few weeks.

Beware of dating orthopedic surgeons, they’ll never let you set them straight.

Beware of dating audiologists, they’ll dump you and claim it was a sound decision.

Beware of dating hypnotherapists, you may be entranced but only subconsciously.

Beware of dating brain surgeons, they know they can always change your mind.

Beware of dating proctologists. Sure, they can work things out, but it won’t be fun.

Beware of dating dentists, they’ll never be comfortable around you if you have a Bluetooth.

Beware of dating dermatologists, that would obviously be a rash decision.

Beware of dating ophthalmologists, their jokes will be cornea than yours.

Beware of dating nurses, they’ll want to start seeing other people TID with meals.

I dated a nurse. And married her. She’s still in recovery.

Nick Thomas teaches at Auburn University at Montgomery, Ala., and has written features, columns, and interviews for numerous newspapers and magazines. GetNickt.org

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