Judgmental Sister and Lightly Racy Photos

Her judgmental sister is shocked by the photo display a retired woman has in her private bedroom. See what advice columnist Amy Dickinson has to say.

Dear Amy:

I am a retired woman, living alone. I inherited a box of very old photos, well over 100 years old. At the bottom of the box, I found a dozen small, beautifully framed “adult” photos. While I am certain that these were hardcore for their time, they are quite tame by modern standards, featuring partial nudity, unlaced bodices and rolled stockings.

The most seductive photo is of a bride getting a romantic kiss on her wedding night.

I was immediately taken with these lovely images, and so I grouped them together to display in my bedroom, which is a very private room in my home. (I am a retired woman living alone.)

As soon as she saw them, my older sister began insisting that I take them down, because “people will think you’re gay, or some kind of pervert.”

I pointed out that anyone in my bedroom knows me well enough to know the truth of me, and who cares what anyone else thinks?

My judgmental sister, and now several of her friends, are outraged at my “pornographic display.”

Can you help me come up with a comment to stop further discussion?

– Art Lover

Dear Art Lover:

This sounds like a cool and unique collection to display in your bedroom.

Responding to comments or critiques from the various biddies in your life, you might arch an eyebrow and say, “Well, you’re right. I’ve been holding out on you. My secret is out. I am in fact gay, and have a special attraction to boudoir beauties from the Victorian era. Last night I had a dream about Virginia Woolf. We were ballroom dancing on board the Titanic.”

In short – own this; don’t explain and don’t apologize.

And perverted? Would your sister be scandalized if you had a reproduction of the Venus di Milo or of Michelangelo’s “David” in your bedroom? Would she be shocked by anyone gazing upon Rodin’s “The Kiss”? Perhaps. But this is very much her problem. Don’t make it yours.

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In the tradition of the great personal advice columnists, Chicago Tribune’s Amy Dickinson is a plainspoken straight shooter who relates to readers of all ages. She answers personal questions by addressing issues from both her head and her heart – ranging from a judgmental sister to dark family secrets and DNA surprises. A solid reporter, Dickinson researches her topics to provide readers with informed opinions and answers. You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068.

©2024 by Amy Dickinson