Snacking Etiquette: Friend Expects Friend to Join In

By Amy Dickinson | September 30th, 2022

Who is in the right here? See what Amy has to say

lots of junk foods, like cola, fries, onion rings, donut, candy, and more. Photo by Nina Firsova, Dreamstime. When two longtime friends were vacationing together, one got angry that the other wasn't snacking with her. Is there a snacking etiquette? Image

Two longtime friends were vacationing together, and one got angry that the other didn’t eat snacks with her. Is there a proper snacking etiquette? See what Amy Dickinson of “Ask Amy” has to say.

Dear Amy:

Recently a longtime, good friend was staying with me as a guest for five nights at an expensive resort.

She is used to snacking on drinks and food throughout the day.

I am the opposite and closely watch what I eat and always politely decline ordering anything when she asks.

Last week she told me how impolite it is for me to never eat anything while she does because she feels she shouldn’t be eating “alone,” and it makes her not enjoy her food.

I was stunned and yet politely assured and reminded her that I am not being rude but simply do not engage in snacking between meals (she knows this very well).

Well, she went on and on trying to get a different response from me.

I was hurt and felt as though she was treating me as one of her children, husband, or work colleague.

I let it end and had no other response.

Did I need to reply by saying I watch my weight and do not eat or enjoy unhealthy donuts and such mindlessly all day or explain a health problem?

Is it necessary to order something (only to throw it away) for my friend to not eat alone?

I do not want to be impolite, wasteful, lose my friend, or be berated like this again.

– Upset

Dear Upset: You do not need to be snacking alongside your friend in order to be polite. You also don’t need to ingest her bullying and berating.

Want to get even more life tips from Amy? Read more of her advice columns here!

In the tradition of the great personal advice columnists, Chicago Tribune’s Amy Dickinson is a plainspoken straight shooter who relates to readers of all ages. She answers personal questions by addressing issues from both her head and her heart – ranging from relationships to DNA surprises. A solid reporter, Dickinson researches her topics to provide readers with informed opinions and answers. Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068

© 2022 by Amy Dickinson

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