Still Flirting After All These Years

By Amy Dickinson | May 3rd, 2024

A new flirtation and news of an old affair could mark the end

A couple sitting on a sofa looking away from each other during an argument. Images by Fizkes. Article on a wife who won't stop flirting with another man

Not only is his wife flirting with another man, she refuses to stop and refuses marriage counseling. “I love my wife but really can’t take this disrespect any longer,” her husband declares. See what advice columnist Amy Dickinson has to say.

Dear Amy:

My wife of 30-plus years won’t stop flirting with a man that works for her, although not in the same office.

He is also married and flirts back. What bothers me is he has slept with at least one other woman in her office.

He told her that his wife refused to have sex with him.

I have seen texts from both of them, by accident. Additionally, they do dinners and meetings outside of work when the spouses are “unavailable.”

I told her that this needs to stop, but she claims that he is a friend and that she needs his help.

She refuses marriage counseling. I recently learned that she had an affair with another coworker. She refuses to talk about that as it was too long ago … over 20 years.

I love my wife but really can’t take this disrespect any longer. In reality, as I near retirement, I feel that I have wasted the best years of my life.

Any suggestions?

– Distraught

Dear Distraught:

I hope you don’t genuinely believe that you have wasted the best years of your life, even though you have “spent” these years with someone who you don’t believe is a loving partner.

The best years of your life could be ahead.

You will feel better if you take some of your power back. See a lawyer, commit to counseling, and start making choices that are in your best interests.

Want to get even more life tips from Amy? Read more of her advice columns here!

In the tradition of the great personal advice columnists, Chicago Tribune’s Amy Dickinson is a plainspoken straight shooter who relates to readers of all ages. She answers personal questions by addressing issues from both her head and her heart – ranging from a flirting wife to dark family secrets and DNA surprises. A solid reporter, Dickinson researches her topics to provide readers with informed opinions and answers. You can email Amy Dickinson at or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068.

©2024 by Amy Dickinson

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